I've been listening to this song recently.
Have I told you that I adore songs which triggers surrealism and imagination?
Daydreaming about the false and lethal reality I've been constructing since the day I took away my trust in humanity...
Oh society, you sure are something.
I was told not to dream, yet the reality you provided irks me.
I remember having this whole imaginative characters; each playing their own part accompanying me in my abstractive contemplation.
I remember doing frequented self-talking; wondering why these imaginary friends are better than the physicals.
I also remember, despite every self-triggered or outside-exposure contradictions; faith is what makes me myself.
"Iridescent"
You were standing in the wake of devastation
And you were waiting on the edge of the unknown
And with the cataclysm raining down
Insides crying "Save me now"
You were there, impossibly alone
Do you feel cold and lost in desperation?
You build up hope, but failure’s all you’ve known
Remember all the sadness and frustration
And let it go. Let it go
And in a burst of light that blinded every angel
As if the sky had blown the heavens into stars
You felt the gravity of tempered grace
Falling into empty space
No one there to catch you in their arms
Do you feel cold and lost in desperation?
You build up hope, but failure’s all you’ve known
Remember all the sadness and frustration
And let it go. Let it go
Do you feel cold and lost in desperation?
You build up hope, but failure’s all you’ve known
Remember all the sadness and frustration
And let it go. Let it go
Let it go
Let it go
Let it go
Let it go
Do you feel cold and lost in desperation?
You build up hope, but failure’s all you’ve known
Remember all the sadness and frustration
And let it go. Let it go
Somewhere, in the pensive of my purest sanctuary, there is a little girl; still waiting dreamily for her version of reality to overtake the abomination outside..
 Labels: feeling, music, obsession, pray, random, rants, whine


Closed off from love I didn't need the pain Once or twice was enough And it was all in vain Time starts to pass Before you know it you're frozen But something happened For the very first time with you My heart melts into the ground Found something true And everyone's looking round Thinking I'm going crazy But I don't care what they say I'm in love with you They try to pull me away But they don't know the truth My heart's crippled by the vein That I keep on closing You cut me open and I Keep Bleeding Keep, keep bleeding in love I keep bleeding I keep, keep bleeding in love Keep bleeding Keep, keep bleeding in love You cut me open
above is taken from Leona Lewis's keep bleeding.
this situation i am facing now is not by coincidence. i was forced myself to love, hoping that i would heal quickly and open my eyes. turns out that what i did is wrong. now im in love and it feels so wrong.
 Labels: love, lyric, rants, whine


i think i am frustrated, infuriated, and afraid for no reason.
maybe the fact that final test is approaching, tons of paper, assignment, and crazy deadlines.
or maybe im just to afraid of the end. im afraid im going to fall. hard, and destroyed when i finally hit the bottom.
i am full of flaw, cracks, and holes.
i am fragile.
over sensitive and too moody.
i am the type which always regret.
i dont even know why i'm turning into this emotional mode. my mood swing is too fast, i dont even realize.
i feel hatred, i feel sadness.
pray for my final test okay?
 Labels: feeling, grandma, pray, random, rants, whine
rough times.
my grandma is still in ICU.
my health is getting better but sometimes i feel strange. like the sudden tiredness, or the annoying feeling that make me wanna puke.
and the love thing, yeah. this one sums it all up.
im planning to register for a gym, but i don't know for sure. the price is friendly, but the location isn't. well, its like 1hour from my grandma's or 1.5 hour from my home. what do you guys think? maybe go run in the neighborhood every morning sounds better? already asked my friend about that and he picked the free run.
the problem is that i'm such a lazy ass.
i never, bold this one, never ever been running at my own neighborhood. well maybe i did once when im still a little kid.
so watcha say? register or not?
OH AND THE PAPER. tons of 'em.
fuck this life. Labels: feeling, grandma, pray, rants, whine
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