 I've been listening to this song recently. Have I told you that I adore songs which triggers surrealism and imagination? Daydreaming about the false and lethal reality I've been constructing since the day I took away my trust in humanity... Oh society, you sure are something. I was told not to dream, yet the reality you provided irks me. I remember having this whole imaginative characters; each playing their own part accompanying me in my abstractive contemplation. I remember doing frequented self-talking; wondering why these imaginary friends are better than the physicals. I also remember, despite every self-triggered or outside-exposure contradictions; faith is what makes me myself.
Somewhere, in the pensive of my purest sanctuary, there is a little girl; still waiting dreamily for her version of reality to overtake the abomination outside..  Labels: feeling, music, obsession, pray, random, rants, whine  God, please.. we still need her :'( my granpa&ma always wanted to see me graduated, but you already took grandpa away. so please, at least let my grandma see what she's been dreaming about; to see me wearing the toga and finished bachelor degree :'( God, i love my grandma so much; she took care of me when i was a little kid, at that time my mom went abroad to continue her study :'( I'm begging you dear Lord, give her a chance to live longer and fulfill all her dreams :'(   i think i am frustrated, infuriated, and afraid for no reason. maybe the fact that final test is approaching, tons of paper, assignment, and crazy deadlines. or maybe im just to afraid of the end. im afraid im going to fall. hard, and destroyed when i finally hit the bottom. i am full of flaw, cracks, and holes. i am fragile. over sensitive and too moody. i am the type which always regret. i dont even know why i'm turning into this emotional mode. my mood swing is too fast, i dont even realize. i feel hatred, i feel sadness. pray for my final test okay? Labels: feeling, grandma, pray, random, rants, whine @ 11:44 AM 
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 rough times.my grandma is still in ICU. my health is getting better but sometimes i feel strange. like the sudden tiredness, or the annoying feeling that make me wanna puke. and the love thing, yeah. this one sums it all up. im planning to register for a gym, but i don't know for sure. the price is friendly, but the location isn't. well, its like 1hour from my grandma's or 1.5 hour from my home. what do you guys think? maybe go run in the neighborhood every morning sounds better? already asked my friend about that and he picked the free run. the problem is that i'm such a lazy ass. i never, bold this one, never ever been running at my own neighborhood. well maybe i did once when im still a little kid. so watcha say? register or not? OH AND THE PAPER. tons of 'em. fuck this life. Labels: feeling, grandma, pray, rants, whine |
  attention please
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greetings from mars
 Indonesian, 22, Hesti , Student, University of Indonesia, Criminology, Transnational Crime, Struggling this hellhole for reasons unidentified. General: super sensitive, over emotional, clumsy, careless, procrastinator, fragile, over excited. fashion lover and swag the way she likes. conspiracy, religion and gadget maniac. already survived merciless university drama. calendar
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