HESTCHIREXIA

about to scream.

2011-12-01T09:29:00.002+07:00

i usually dont talk about my darker self on blog, but i think i've reached my limit.

have i told you that i'm into witchcraft or in more shady terms; occult? i guess i haven't.

this addiction of mine is not something i would proudly brag here and there, considering that i reside in a society where such abomination is taboo not to mention implicitly prohibited.

occultism caught my attention since i first exposed to the internet. safely say, 10 years ago. but the interest starting to develop deeper at my senior high school era. depression triggered my darker self to manifest in the form of a sinful stress-reliever which guided me to the depth of underworld.

but don't worry, as i am not yet awaken my full potential.

all i did back then was studying. studying the occultism, the witchraft, did a couple harmless practices but no effect whatsoever.

i started to realize that i might have some potential (every human does, it's just a matter of who awoken them faster and easier than anybody else) when i entered college. lucid dream, out of body experience, intuition, etc. not that i haven't sensed any of these during high school but the signs are more subtle now.

but me being selfish, being a person who want to reach perfection by thy self, never once, thinking about using 3rd party service to activate all my... let's say; potential. i believe that the higher self awareness, the highest self revival would be best acquired by the process everyone called learning. instant result always have diabolical impact if you know what i meant.

well... here i am, confessing minor part of my darkest secret to you all.

you probably can learn something.

probably.

the sky is getting darker

2011-11-30T23:03:00.003+07:00

so this post might or might not be a shocker to some of you. if i remembered correctly, I've never posted anything about this in my previous entries. in my old blogs maybe, but not here. if i remembered correctly.

you know, things correspondent to each other; like chains.

one problem leads to another.

you guys read my previous post about college depression right? well then you are on track. because this very matter is linked to it.

so my depression dont just happen in college. trust me, i've been on the same spot before. i wont waste your time by storytelling my old tale but keep in mind: i am not your average girl next door. i have my own unique traits that some people find it annoying and maybe, amazing. my elementary and high school era wasn't as easy as most of you guys. consider yourself lucky.

thus with frequent depression, i began to seek for alternative method of stress-reliever. one of them happened to be music. in dark genre.

i jammed to gothic, metal, and other similar genres trying to merge and ensure myself that i was not alone; i was not the only one suffering from whatever was happening at that time.

then come Marilyn Manson, straight from the depth of hell, offering me sweet promises in exchange of my faith to God.

and so my dark age began

i disconnect myself from God, from world, not to mention social interaction (not really antisocial but i avoided getting on too much with people). my behavior was rude, and people hated me.

my whole mess never managed to get better at school, but once i arrived home and turned the tape on, i felt like i was no longer in this world. only me and devoted admiration to manson mattered.

if you asked: what about now?

well, like what i've hinted on the beginning of this post, i somehow going back to the dark phase. Marilyn Manson music amuse me once again.

with a core difference: God still with me.

when quitting is the hardest thing to do

2011-11-14T21:07:00.005+07:00

looking at the title you must be thinking that i'm going to do some tragic motivational preach.

oh hell no.

in fact, what i'm going to tell you is probably in contrast of what you would call motivational.

hell breaks loose, my misery grows.

i rarely post about my college life, am i not? too lazy to stroll back my old archives, but i am confident enough to be perfectly sure that this would be the first ever emotional confession about my college life.

so.. are you ready?

this wont be pretty and you have been warned.

since i've been keeping this story since God knows when, let's arrange the events in time-based manner, shall we?

3rd year of senior high school, right after graduation. i thought i could get to the college i really want, with major i've been dreaming of: design. turned out, even after months of illustration short-course i took, i couldn't pass the ITB entrance exams. then i had my time of depression, lost, not knowing what to do, until i decided to enroll at another course, but this time was academic one, and try my luck at the best university in the country: UI. unbeknownst to me, this was the very first phase towards my ultimate destruction. in deciding which major i should take at that time, i didnt feel very excited. i just took whatever possible, whichever programs that could match my score, that would guarantee my acceptance based on the simulation tests. well maybe God heard me and my family's prayer, i got accepted. everyone was happy at that moment, unaware of the crack that started to arouse slowly.
1st year in college. this was the worst phase (if not one of the worst) in my college life. i started to notice that even though i had some curiosity towards this major, i just couldn't enjoy all tiny bits of it. the tiresome orientation aka initiation (which i didnt participate in the end because it was too troublesome), unwelcome seniors, boring subjects, killer teachers, time-consuming assignments, and so on. though i feel grateful that even though we had some embarrassing drama, my collegian were supportive to each other. but still, i skipped a lot, i failed subjects, my GPA sucked, and another phase of depression grown. i got sick often, my psychosomatic was all around me at that time.
2nd year in college. nothing changed. still skipping classes, rebelling the norms, getting my way up to the darkside by blaming God, and destroying my own body with constant stress, turning my psychosomatic disorder disease re-appeared every now and then. i felt like an outcast back then. the outsider. i barely caught up with the recent news, not so many friends. consider myself as a tragic loser, now you got the image.
3rd year in college. things were getting better, though i still skipped here and there, and failing classes. at least i was able to keep the deviation level to minimum. if i said some cheesy things happened this year which helped me to survive, would you believe it? i'm not gonna explain it further but love is in the air. but in general, although this year was the peak of productivity, i still sucked.
4th year to present. getting worse. 1st and 2nd year of pain accumulated. maybe i'll explain more on the next post. but i feel as if i'm already on the verge of breaking down. if i could get a job i most probably would quit since i can no longer handle the pressure.

but in the end, quitting is not an easy cake like flipping your hand.

i should consider my future, if i have no degree. third world country + no degree = doomed.

my family also one that holding me back from quitting. i dont wanna disappoint them after they paid my tuition and all.

especially my parents are getting old while my sister and brother still enroll in school. they need monetary support too.

if only, someone give me chance to study abroad. just like my eternal dream. if only.

TO BE CONTINUED

MY FANFICTION

2011-07-14T23:21:00.003+07:00

hello,

long time no see?

well I've been preoccupied with busy schedules, hectically without mercy.

I hope you guys still reading my crappy writings and anticipating the updates :p

hahaha better not let my hopes too high, falling straight on the butt is OUCH.

so... if you guys aware that my fanfic actually posted on AFF, i won't post it here again anymore. I dont want this blog being disoriented and deviate from its original purpose.

and if you happen to be a die hard VIP or BigBang fans, go subscribe to my fanfic here

http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/36302/strong-baby-bigbang-daesung-gdragon-seungri-taeyang-top-you

But apologize in advance, i rarely update the fic. not that i don't want to, but as i have stated before, i'm kind of busy doing something that could affect my existence in college lol.

no really, i'm just kinda lazy.

and stressed out.

and frustrated.

*sigh*

but seriously, read the fic there, don't wait here because i will not post anymore chapter of the fanfic here.

people come, people go, so do i.

catch you later toodles.

Chapter 3: The Past (2)

2011-05-01T22:25:00.004+07:00

POSTED ON ASIANFANFICS.COM SO PLEASE COMMENT AND SUBSCRIBE HERE:http://goo.gl/z85Sj

A/N: just to remind you, at this is still a flashback. You were a first grader at SOL academy. Taeyang at his final year (3^rd grader) along with the others except TOP. Taeyang would be chosen as president when he graduated.

***

STILL FLASHBACK!!

Time must’ve been passed since you lost your balance and fainted.

You could hear the school’s bell ringed but it was too hard for you to fully regain your consciousness.

Oh well, opening your eyes wouldn’t hurt.

Everything was blurry once you succeeded to open your eyelids.

“hey, you okay?”

You heard a voice. Sounded familiar?

You only moaned.

Duh, you just woke up and that guy expecting you to—

Wait. Guy?

Oh.

You suddenly jerked your body up.

“what the?!!”

You frantically tried to read the situation you were in now. Ok, so that was definitely a male voice right? And you was fainted before so.. what did a girl usually do when encountering situation like this? Your brain worked hard, your heart beats like a hip hop jukebox.

Clothes? Check.

Okay maybe you were not raped.

Dang, how would you know? That guy could probably dressing you after he finished that dirty--

“WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!”

You screamed.

And you felt a hand covering your mouth.

“hey hey, relax! Why are you screaming like that?”

Okay. This was getting creepy.

You bit his hand.

“OUCH!”

He finally let loose.

“YA~! What’s wrong with—“ he moved closer to reach you.

“WHAT THE.. DON’T EVEN THINK YOU CAN GO NEAR ME!!! IMMA SCREAM NOW GET LOST RAPIST!!!!”

You definitely still in the aftershock and couldn’t think clear.

“rapist? Do you really think I’m… pfffft”, he chuckled and left you dumfounded.

Okay, this guy was chuckling so maybe he wasn’t a rapist after all.

You eyed him carefully. His facial expression.. hmm.

“OH!”

You exclaimed.

“Oh my god.. I’m so sorry Dean sunbae.. where’s my manner. Ah.. Please forgive me!”

He smiled and pat your head.

“It’s ok. if you’re feeling better now I guess I should take you home?”

You slightly nodded, still embarrassed by your previous actions.

But before you two could manage to get out of the medical room, the door suddenly burst open.

Someone shouted your name in panic.

“GOD! I heard you were injured or something! Are you okay honey?!”

This uber handsome man, with Mohawk hair and dressed in a perfectly fitted uniform (only God knows how he could modify the usual uniform) ran towards you in such rush.

“Baby, you almost got me a cardiac attack!!”, he added, crushing you into a bear hug.

“ne, Tae oppa~ I’m okay. I just fainted and Dean Sunbae brought me here and take care of me”

And being a good brother like he was, he just realized that there were another occupant in this room.

A guy to be exact.

Uh oh.

“who are you again?”, he asked coldly to the other male species who was starting to get nervous.

“uh.. I’m Dean, from dance class. Third year”

“ I’m also in my final year here. How come I’ve never seen you before? But whatever. You were with her because?”

He gave the poor guy a death glare.

“well, I was—“

The door burst open again. For the second time now.

“Ya! YongBae! Why you’re so long! Come on let’s go already!”

Now the trespasser was a guy with geeky glasses, bleached hair, same trendy uniform as Taeyang, and a lot of accessories.

Ah, he got swag.

Everyone in the room turned their direction towards the newcomer.

“what are you guys looking at?!”, he threatened you and Dean then diverted his attention to Taeyang, “ Aish~ are you coming or not YongBae?? This new club will open soon! TOP hyung won’t wait forever!”

“YA! You know that my sister is sick and then I rushed here just to found out this.. whatever his name is with her in this room alone!”

“okay, look, “ GD reasoned, “if you insist to drive her home, there will be no time. Why don’t you trust our baby sis and let him do the chore?”

Taeyang went panic, “ARE YOU CRAZY??!!!!”

This debate would go forever if none of them voluntary gave in.

“Tae oppa.. I agreed with GD oppa.. you should try to trust me. I can take care of myself until now right?”, you spoke slowly.

“see?! Come on, YongBae, she is 16 for God sake. Besides, Daesungie already waiting in the car. You know him, he might looks sunny on the outside but inside.. gloomy as hell and that could ruin our mood for the entire night too”, GD explained.

“Jiyong are you freaking insane?!! That’s our only baby you were talking about!! Are you expecting me to hand her to some stranger I don’t even know his—“

“my name is Dean, just in case you forg--”, Dean interrupted, but was cut by both GD and Taeyang’s loud bawl: “SHUT UP!!”

You sweatdropped.

God, could they be anymore louder than this?

“Tae oppa, please trust me. Just this time ok? He wouldn’t dare to harm me, would you Dean Sunbae?”

Dean quickly nodded, “no! I wouldn’t!”

“fine, I will make this quick so we both will arrive at TOP’s new club on time. Dean or whoever you are: if you dare to touch her, you are dead. Are we clear?”, GD stated to dean.

“yes! Don’t worry jiyong-sshi I will protect her with all my life!”

“the hell. Call me GD! I hate stranger calling my real name! got that?”

“yes, GD!”

“good. Now, YongBae, are you going or not?”

Taeyang looked at you, expecting you to reassure him.

“go, oppa.. I’ll be fine. Promise”

Then your brother nooded. Gave you a quick peck on your foreheard before saying goodbye, “take care baby, call me when you get home”

“okay oppa! Have fun!”, you replied.

After your brothers leave, Dean drove you home safely.

And since then, you were getting closer.

***

“Actually.. it’s hard to confess this.. But I love you. I really do. Would you… be my girlfriend?”

OH GOD Finally.

The ultimate question you’ve been waiting for.

It took a blink of your eyes to actually accept his offer.

“YES!! Oh god, Dean oppa I love you too!”

You hugged him.

***

“HUH??!! YOU BOTH WHATTTTT???!!” Taeyang, literally, shrieked.

You were panic.

Ok, slowly, so he would understand.

Talk nicely.

“uh.. oppa~ we’ve been friends—uh no, best friends for 3 months now. You know that I don’t have much friend right oppa? Hell, even I can safely say he is my only friend”

“what are you talking about baby, your friends are massive. Tell oppa you’re just joking? please?” he pleaded.

No, you hated this. You hated seeing your most dearest oppa being all worried and sad because of you.

“oppa, “ you slowly explained, “in the whole school only you, GD oppa, and Dae oppa are the most respected, feared, and swooned by the whole female population. Me, being your sister, of course would attract those girls who wanted to get closer to you guys. I had enough of fake friends, pretending to be friendly but in the end all they talked about was either you, GD oppa, dae oppa or combined.”

You know that your brother knew this already.

He know how hard you’ve been trough.

Especially after your parents died in a plane crash.

“well, baby girl, “ he sighed, “if that’s the best for you and would make you happy.. I couldn’t object”

“oppa...”

He smiled, and pulled you into a warm embrace.

“please promise oppa that you’d be happy, if I caught you crying, I swear to god.. I’d kill whoever did it”.

“yes oppa, I promise. Thank you for trusting me. I love you oppa~!”

***

A/N:

OKAAAYYYY~ so i decided to post another round faster so you guys wouldn't have to wait longer.

mind the short chapter ;___;

the flashback is not yet completed girls~ maybe i'll put up one or two more chaps for this to finish.

and after that, back to present XD

Chapter 2: The Past (1)

2011-04-27T22:08:00.010+07:00

POSTED ON ASIANFANFICS.COM SO PLEASE COMMENT AND SUBSCRIBE HERE: http://goo.gl/z85Sj

PRESENT

You were having a hard time cooking something for dinner, with Seungri kept bugging you to no end.

"Noona! You know the new student who arrived today right? I heard he was assigned in your class? What's his name again?"

You stayed silent, keep doing what you were doing before. 5:45 PM. Your oppa would be home at 6:30 PM. You better prepared it fast.

You focused stirring all the ingredients, boiled in a pot. Your life would be easier if Taeyang hired a house maid. not that he couldn't afford it, but after a certain incident five years ago, he couldn't risk having strangers near you.

"ya~ noona~ tell me pleeeeeeeaseeeee!!" the maknae followed you around.

You didn't bother answering Seungri's plea.

Actually, you hated this subject. that new student. the one who left you all confused, anxious, and triggered your dark old memories back. The very reason why your mood are ruined.

With Seungri nonstop questioning, you know where this would end.

"Noonaaaaaa~ I'm so curious now! why won't you talk about it? there must be something happened between you!"

You felt your head heavy all of sudden. Damn maknae, why he had to bring all of this up?

PAST

You were in your sweet 16. You had an average life, not much different from what you have in the present. Friends? Nah, you doubted they were the real deal. Your brothers high exposure surely brought you both privileges and dooms. Like.. antifans for example. They usually hardcore fangirls evied your position as the only girl who could get so close with the most powerful, single, and handsome guys in seoul: BigBang.

Well, BigBang dated too, duh. Even GD was known for his “player” label. But it was just like that. No strings attached. In the end, you were the only girl they really cared.

The only difference in your past, comparing to the present was your brothers.

They were all busy with their own life (and business). Oh well, except the baby panda Seungri. He was still innocent, enjoying his youth.

Overprotective? That words didn’t exist.

At this time, where you thought you finally found love, turned out to be the very memory traumatized you so much you’d want to erase it forever. You were almost raped, even killed by a bunch of gang delinquents, underlings of TOP’s rival company.

One of them, succeed to capture your heart, being your boyfriend by pretending to love you.

It was all started with the L words.

You innocently attracted with this guy named Dean Lee Eusebio, the charming sunbae at SOL Academy.

He was like no other. While everyone in school who knew your background (bigbang beloved sister) keeping their distances, he approached you.

“Hey. I’m Dean. I hope we can work together”, he said. Gently greeted you at your class’s first showcase.

He was in charge of assisting the lecturer for dance class which you participated in.

You stated your name coldly. Usually people who realized that you are related to Taeyang, would just either avoided or followed you around like some blood sucker leeches.

“Ah. Nice to meet you. So, how’s your dance practice going? Since I’m responsible for your team, don’t hesitate to ask me whenever you have difficulties with the dance steps”, He replied with a smile.

Being blood related with the infamous dancer Taeyang sure helped you a lot surviving this dance classes and practices.

The teacher and even Dean praised you a lot.

But you are used to people’s unfair treatments so instead of feeling happy, your heart sank. Afraid they might not telling you the truth.

“Hey, you are gifted you know? When someday I see you on TV, I couldn’t be more proud!”

Dean congratulated you.

“uh, sure thanks”, you just gave him a nod, looked away, and a forced smile.

He frowned.

“are you okay? You don’t look good. Are you having a fever?”

Suddenly he moved his face closer to yours.

You never been this close to a guy before and you felt your heart was beating faster, your blood rushing up towards your cheek and you could see yourself blushed.

“hey,” he inched closer, gently placing his forehead on yours, “you seems fine. But what was with that face before?”

His jet black eyes staring intensely at your hazelnut brown’s and your knees was shaking.

You tried to escape this awkward situation by tilting your head to the side but Dean cupped both of your cheeks, successfully kept your head stayed still.

“are you really okay? You should take a rest, don’t push yourself”.

His hands on your face was good enough to make you go all nervous but then he still got his face plastered to yours.

And hell, that stare could kill.

This was too much. You couldn't take this anymore.

You felt your visions was getting blurry.

You fainted.

A/N:

HELOOOOO~ SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT!!

actually i admit this one sucked because this chapter i posted wasnt even finished yet >__<

there're more coming up next and i'm currently doing it all now :3 so please boost me up, kindly leave a comment or subscribe <3

3 steps to make me happy:

1. subsribe <3

2. comments <3

3. clik the FB's LIKE button <3

Chapter 1: Meet Seungri!

2011-04-19T13:31:00.008+07:00

POSTED ON ASIANFANFICS.COM SO PLEASE COMMENT AND SUBSCRIBE HERE: http://goo.gl/z85Sj

"NOOOOOOONAAAAAAA~!!"

Someone screamed. That person was addressing you, since you were alone in the house.

"NOOOOOOONAAAAAAA~!!"

You sighed. You know that voice.

Besides, the only imaginable trespasser who could break the hell tight of security must be one of your brothers.

Yep, it definitely your beloved maknae, Seungri.

But you were not in the mood for playing. Today's classes was tiring and thanks to that, your mood ruined.

Seungri running towards you.

"Here you are! Noona, I missed youuuuuuuu~!" he hugged you from behind.

The clingy bratty Seungri. He took his brother's personality too much but thank God he was not (yet) a player. But hell he flirts good.

"Yah~ we went to school together this morning Ri", you replied, gently pushed him away.

He pouted.

Oh don't he ever stop using that technique.

"But noona went home without me :-(", Seungri tugged your shirt and attacked you with his ultimate puppy eyes.

You swore that even Gaho, GD's dog would call it a threat in term of cuteness.

"Seungri-ah~ noona was trying to call you back then but you were unreachable"

"Oh?" He quickly checked his iPhone logs, and his face went pale.

"OMOOOOO~ noona did call!! Sorry I was with-- Uh... who was she again? Err.. Hyunnie or Ginny or Wunie? Oh whatever. My bad! Sorry noona!"

"Aish. You should really stop hanging out with your hyung, Ri. He is a bad influence! Treat girls with respect!"

"Uhh.. I didn't mean like that, you know that I easily forgot someone's name right? Are you mad at me noona? Are you? I'm so sorry..." He looked down.

Seungri, the talk master, known for his tons of prepared excuses. Of course you already adapted to his habit but as always, you fallen for it again. Damn this maknae why he have to be so cute!

You patted his head playfully and messed its hair a bit, "Ya~ don't worry, it wasn't your fault, I'm just having a bad day"

"By the way," you added, "don't ever enter someone's house without permission ok?"

"But but but--"

"No buts, maknae. I know my brother permitted you, but still don't come here all of sudden without knocking. What if I got a cardiac attack?"

"Aish~ Ok Ok noona. Sorry. But it's so unfair, you let GD hyung come and go as he likes!" Seungri reasoned.

Hmm. That was true. GD even had the key to your house. Taeyang also let him stay whenever he feels like it. Even sometimes allowed him to brought his girlfriend which was of course annoyed you.

You cleared your throat.

"Well, maknae, you see... GD and Tae oppa are besties since God knows when, even before you and I were born. So I guess he trusted him most"

"AH~!" He suddenly exclaimed.

"Wha--?"

"I knew it! GD hyung has Gaho and Tae hyung with Boss. They both shared their love for dogs that's why! And Boss hates me he always barks whenever I come near him!" Seungri explained in a very fast pace you had to digest each words slowly.

"Err.. I dont get it?"

Seungri grabbed your hands and stared at your eyes, all serious.

"Noona, if I bought a dog would Tae hyung let me have the keys too?"

"..."

That's Seungri for you.

COMING UP NEXT: CHAPTER 2!!

STAY TUNED!!

UPCOMING PROJECT: BIGBANG FANFICTION!

2011-04-15T23:39:00.006+07:00

yay, hail to all VIPs and fellow writers.

i decided to write a BigBang fanfic, FINALLY!!

this thoughts had been dwelling on my mind since God knows when, but as always, i had problems deciding the starting point.

and yeah, i overcome it.

be patient and stay tuned, here's the sneak peak.

summary:

what if you are the baby sister of the infamous BigBang whose charm melts every girl's heart in korea? how you would handle the pressure of being their relative? what if your love life sucks because of them? and why you cant stop getting yourself into trouble for their sake?

dear girls, please enjoy my upcoming fanfiction:

STRONG BABY

overprotective brothers, crazy love life.

Cast:

Kwon Jiyong (GD): seoul's top notch social butterfly and fashionista. CEO of the infamous fashion label; GDragon. Player, getting bored of a relationship easily. His father, a politician, is your uncle. You are the only girl he won't dare to hurt.

Dong Yongbae (Taeyang): your older brother by blood. very talented dancer, now become the head of SOL ACADEMY OF ARTS (SA). overprotective towards you. religious and modest. he took the rule as parents since your mom and dad passed away from a plane crash.

Choi Seunghyun (TOP): His father (your dad's older brother) rules the underground world of seoul, and TOP is currently managing some of his father's job. he won't let you know about his family business. sometimes he send a talented agent or two to stalk you around, paranoid of your safety.

Lee Seunghyun (Seungri): GD's little brother. He takes his brother's fashion sense. owns the elite VVIP club, where a lot of socialite's A-List continuously spotted there. Goes to the same school as you. Very clingy, because he always wanted a sister.

Kang Daesung (Dae): his mom (a diva back then) is your aunt, and his vocal is amazing. he graduated from Juilliard and now help his mom running the DLITE ENTERTAINMENT (DLE). very funny, down to earth, and always make you smile.

YOU: baby brother of taeyang, and automatically considered as BigBang's too. average girl next door. enrolled in SA and a trainee in DLE. you have trouble getting around with boys because your brothers are all overprotective and always scare them away!

COMING UP NEXT: CHAPTER 1

stay tuned!

BIGBANG!

2011-04-05T20:02:00.003+07:00

just so you guys could grasp the ideas.

yeah, i'm into BigBang recently.

they are an idol group from korea.

need to say more?

well google was made for a reason, you know.

basically they are uber talented individuals jam packed into a boyband sorta thing. i guarantee, you won't find any idol group who composed and produced their own song like they did.

and unlike some cute pop electro k-pop-ish kind of music, BigBang's is more of american-ish. so i think their music is kinda acceptable worldwide.

need proof? their single "TONIGHT" from the 4th mini album ranked #3 in billboard without any promotions in US whatsoever.

well, of course, as you guys have guessed, they topped all k-charts after their spectacular comeback.

try to search "bigbang" on youtube and switch to these songs:

Tonight
GD&TOP - HIGH HIGH
GD&TOP - KNOCKOUT
SEUNGRI - WHAT CAN I DO
Haru Haru
TAEYANG - I NEED A GIRL
Lies
Sunset Glow
SEUNGRI - VVIP
etc!! lol you should try all of em!

*uppercased: their solo units. yep, each BigBang member has their own solo debut, whom songs composed and produced by themselves. no doubt they rocked the charts too! talk about talents!

but the superstar behind BigBang is of course their stylish fashionista leader G-Dragon. he did all the production. so most VIPs (BigBang loyal fans) may noticed that BigBang music is getting more and more G-Dragon-ish LOL.

besides their solo units, they have collab unit too, GD&TOP. the leader and the rapper. GD (G-Dragon) is a rapper too so thats why they paired up together.

and being a perverted fangirl that i actually am, YAOI pairing is a YES YES!!

me personally fancied GD x Seungri, GD x TOP, GD x Taeyang, Taeyang x Seungri, and probably crossover between them, but what i like the most is the pairing i bold.

mizushima hiro

2011-01-08T09:50:00.004+07:00

can you blame him for his cuteness?

no, you can't.

you C A N ' T.

behold, my beloved MIZUSHIMA HIRO. famous actor and writer from japan and he's currently my obsession. i mean, what's not to be obsessed from this guy?

mizuchin is definitely my new gackt! nyahahahahahahhaha sorry gackt, but you're getting old, plastic surgery couldnt hide it ya know. but mizuchin, he's like a fallen angel. correction: an angel . sent from heaven to be MINEEEEE!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

and a sudden rush of inspiration come since the day i've fallen for him. i decided that i will write a fanfiction. just me and him, you know. say no to wifey-whatever!

oh gawd, i dont know what to say. speechless. he's like the utmost perfect creation god ever made

i'm super serious.

let's sum it up

2011-01-02T12:21:00.003+07:00

poodles,

sorry for the delays. its been like.. a month (?) i caught in a writer's block and too lazy to blog about my recent activities. so yes yes, darla. i can read your mind; my vacation, right?

well the trip went well if i could just scratch the "X" factor. euh! dont even try to make me remember.

i go here and there, around the city. visiting places, buying stuffs. yeah, i mean.. what else?

for the pics? please excuse my old alibi: laziness!!! LOL at least i'd give you the link to the album (uploaded on FB, yeah right).

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2100817&id=1256236094&l=a6833dbf5d

so bitches, browse around.

err..

what else?

oh, internship (recent issue, but dayum! i really forgot what was come up after the vacation -_-).

currently planning to do intern at NCB Interpol Jakarta, now preparing for the proposals n cv.

asked a friend and he agreed to come with me. yay. alone is devastating dontcha agree?

OH, what more is that the recent break-ups. aw! dont let me tell you more, doodles ;)

and now im fancying korean boybands. Super Junior & 2PM ♥

wait wait.. satellite tv at home!!!!!! hahahah yeah a major progress, im effin sick of local programs.

hmm..

anotherrrrr..

I READ TAROT. yeaaa for real, girlsss.

already did to 5 fellas and all accurate.

you wanna? lemme know.

spiritual awakening? nah, just killing time ;)

chill n chill baybeez!

singapore for vacation

2010-11-19T10:27:00.004+07:00

hell-o! long time no see bitches.

just so you know, I've got problem with my health again. typhus again. anxiety again. gosh, i need a break. i need an urgent getaway from all this mad-shit-ness, the illness, the disturbing anxiety disorder, and the fucked up campus live with tons of ass-ingment. wanderlust? chronic.

and magically, wish granted.

thanks to my dear mom and dad for their kindness:

I'm going to singapore at 29 this mont until 2 december, YAY!

actually im in a backpacking mode but apparently my mom wants someone to accompany so she asked my aunt. not that i hate her.

uh.. i do dislike her anyway.

so yeah, better allocate money to buy me a bloggie instead.

but mom's words are final. i mean she's gonna fund me no? than i must obey for my vacation's sake.

anyway i read lotta stuff about anxiety and they suggest me to do exercise and meditate. just to keep my mind of things. I'm so into exercise but not the meditation. well, according to my friend, meditating is like lowering your frequency so that you could see and feel "things" if you know what I'm talking about! creepy for sure!

oh yes, and the spirits, especially my dear elf. I don't know what should i do with him. honestly I'm scared to do the bonding ritual. so i just put him into a small box and hope he's happy for good. if not, I'm planning to find someone kindly enough and care enough to adopt him :( i like him, but if he's unhappy staying with me why I should prolong his freedom?

back to the vacation.

i already booked the flights, hostel, and shuttle.

really wanted to visit universal studio but uh so expensive :(

BTW im planning to change my cellphone. blackberry is bad for your health. high radiation could damage your brain. ew! hope someone generous enough would buy me an iphone 3gs. yeehaaa~

oh yeah, i have good times with a friend now that she's already recovered. not much but i could hang around her freely like before.

oh oh. imake money on fiverr :O

anyway, doodles poodels, gotta fix a review. catch ya again pretty soon!

RE-RE-RECAP!

2010-10-08T10:40:00.005+07:00

uh oh. how you guys been? good? healthy? yay great! :)

i'm not really in a condition you people would say "good".

no need to worry thou, i'm better than before :)

so.. here are the shortlist of what's been going on with my suckie life:

1. tamagotchi. its a v5. i'm not into v6 so yeahh...

2. fylgia arrived. another spirit. i think im beginning to like collecting those. aw.

3. wasting like $85 on a supplement. i know its kinda stupid. yes i do regret. but let's see in one month. if it does take effect then i'd be relieved. if not, i'd stop.

4. paypal limited. the hell im not going to use that kinda payment again.

5. form a team called Cross+Soul. details will be added in this blog soon ;)

6. have some snail mail pals. but i haven't sent them the letters yet :(

OKOK, please pray for our C+S project!!

suckie ♥

2010-08-31T19:15:00.004+07:00

my anxiety isn't getting any better nor worse.

yea, the good thing is the "nor worse".

i just ordered a new crystal pendant btw. for anxiety. lets cross the fingers and pray the effect is going to be great. at least no more fear of the unknown.

my gold tablet crystal is working fine thou.

that's why i have the courage to order another.

umm.. the elf's vessel is now hung perfectly on a self-made DIY leather bracelet. hahah just a variation thou. i'm not the type to wear too much necklace LOL.

what else? oh. just got my first BCA FLAZZ card. and my paypal will be verified in 2-3 working days ahead.

yay. sweet.

anyway, its kinda sucks that i think we both meant for each other ♥

LOL gotta stop before i get even more cheesy ;)

live long & prosper ladies.

catch you later pretty soon.

cheesy bits ♥

2010-08-27T11:10:00.004+07:00

AHEM.

after 2days of devastating awkwardness...

we finally make up! yay!

fairytale {3}

2010-08-26T12:29:00.006+07:00

umm.. where to start?

ok, so i'm officially a spirit keeper :D

mine is high elf (male) and looks pretty much like legolas from LOTR but much more cuter ♥

nonono.. i haven't seen him yet but my friends who can see "things" told me that :D

the vessel is a green (gemstone) heart-shaped pendant.

couldn't say much but i'll update soon!

fatigue {2}

2010-08-26T12:18:00.005+07:00

sorry for the late updates!!

been busy with my school and health and some other things ;)

you know what? now im living with my aunt so the distance to school is nearer.

already did a general check up last month. resulting that i'm perfectly healthy.

typhoid? blah, it was just over fatigued.

scary eh? i swallowed too much antibiotics and it was just an over fatigue thingy.

sooooooo.... yeah, im living in my aunt's in order to maintain my health.

BTW the doc said i should raise up my weight about 10kg. ZOMG.

remembral {1}

2010-08-26T12:09:00.004+07:00

well.. couldn't really put up much words.

heart-breaking, it feels like what it sounds.

you know, when you love someone so much no matter how they might have crushed your heart into pieces..

aw, crap.

move on to next entry will ya?

dont wanna mix this up with another news.

xo ♥

world cup & fever

2010-06-21T07:24:00.007+07:00

world cup and fever, not world cup fever.

cuz my typhoid fever been up again (based on the lab's result) since 2 days ago. sucks.

well i think i've already stated in my previous post (dunno which one, though. go browse, cuz i forgot) that i won't post anything mellow love-related thingy since i'm free now.

promise is a promise.

not much happens to my love life recently anyway.

so, lets begin with the world cup.

i'm a HUGE fan of GERMANY since.. er.. lets see.. korea-japan world cup, i think. actually, i was supporting brazil before then, but switched. maybe Michael Ballack was the major influence on my transforming at that time. so, bye bye brazil, way to go for the champion GERMANY!!!!

too bad Ballack couldn't play because of the injury, but that's OK. the current squad formation is not bad. they did pretty good at the first match with australia. 4-0!! but unfortunately in their 2nd match they lose against serbia. daaamn!

i still have faith in GERMANY though. i can smell their victory. really.

now lets rendezvous a bit about my social life;

i love to support my besties. i love giving advice to them. well.. to let me involve in their problems somehow makes me happy. at least i know that i am needed.

so.. one of my best buddy does have a problem recently. and i think it sucks up his life to the point that he actually finds it hard to move on.

well, buddy, if you happen to read this post, i'm telling you this:

being you, the gifted blessed you, means not too worry much about such problem. you got everything other people might dream of; you got looks, you got brain, your social life rocks, and not to mention your popularity.

so why are you still sulking?

i just finished reading your newer blog post and i think what you did is right; look at the mirror, see the reflection of yours. even if there's a flaw, its soooo unrecognizable people won't even notice.

see? you are supposed to move on faster than any other people.

so, buddy, what are you waiting for? live your life to the fullest! :)

that's that. a bit advice for my buddy.

now with the annoying problem of mine.

TYPHOID FEVER. again.

well, i've been feeling weird since 5 days ago maybe. sudden freezing feeling at night, hurting a bit in several body parts. but no fatigue, no actual fever.

well, in day three, i decided to take a blood test, resulting this boredom fact that i gotta stay home, bedresting for several days till i got better.

it scares me you know, that somehow once every month the typhoid fever raise and attack.

the idea that i (maybe, but hopefully not) gonna die someday because of this, successfully eat my guts.

oh, and my hair keeps falling for unknown reason.

BTW daddy brought back a new mouse yesterday. its HP. hahah branded stuff is more trustable, no?

uh oh, the happy recaps!

good time with besties! no need to tell you the details; we had fun and stuffs.
new backpack! its converse. black.
new mouse! LOL not really the thing that made my day but at least its better than the previous one.

the bad one?? err... typhoid fever thing, i lost my glasses (damn, if my dad found out i'd be doomed for sure), unable to attend classes (well, duh, its because im still sick), and what else? more to add soon probably LOL.

alright guys, that's it for now. see you guys again. stay healthy!

hellyeah ♥

2010-06-10T21:00:00.003+07:00

mood goes up, mood goes down.

my mood swing is hell to control, even prediction won't be as easy as it sounds.

some up and down events happened recently did affect my mood.

need a recap?

UPS:

my GPA increased! YAY SWEEEEEEET!
new jeans. still hung awkwardly though, gonna find another one i think. but so far i can tolerate this one.
my weight increased! from 26kg to 28kg! HUUUGEEEEE!! XD keep going please! i need to reach 51 by august!
done with the order payment, now waiting for the books to be shipped!
sweet moment with a friend :)

DOWNS:

PMS. you know what this means; MOOD PROBS! constant stomach ache, ETC.
my fave backpack's zipper is perforated. DUHHHHH gotta find another replacement; a cool, adaptive backpack which would match with every clothes i wear.
uncomfy shoes alert. BRRRINGGGGG!!!! all my rubber shoes are out of date, smelly, and bleached!! must find at least a pair of funky rubber shoes. you know, canvas is a no-no for rainy season.
social statistic summer class; I HATEEE IT CUZ I'M ALONEEE ;( well the last encounter was not that bad, i teamed with cool dudettes.
no vacation plan! TERRIBLE!! i think this one is the most downee part X(

but for now, i'm happy to say that the UPS defeated the DOWNS, creating a rather happy atmosphere, although sometimes sparkles of angst are still sparkling.

n/a (?)

2010-06-09T20:55:00.006+07:00

that wasn't even a good title for any sane blogger.

well, i've encountered lots of not avaiables.

some of them:

boyfie (err.. i dont need one at this moment anyway -_-")
crush (no boyfie is OK, but no crush? geeez)
holiday plan for august (pretty sucks, cuz no one, i repeat; NO ONE willing to accompany me for a vacation)

pretty random? maybe.

BTW just heard a rather shocking news. im trying my best to believe it till now.

OHHHHHHH for the sake of the HITS, im gonna post these stuffs beloooow, hope you dont mind:

so the story began with a leaked sex tape, starring ariel 'perterpan' and luna maya. then soon after that another shocking video circulated: ariel (again) vs cut tari. luna maya and cut tari are famous tv presenters, while ariel is the lead and vocalist of a band called peterpan (now already changed its name into something still unpublished).

tell you what, the leaked sex tapes are found everywhere, do a google search if you are really curious since ariel peterporn been on #1 trending topic since yesterday.

no no no... i won't share you any links, don't wanna break any laws :p im a play save-er :p

well, enough randomness. catch ya later!

it sparks and sparkles ♥

2010-06-07T20:13:00.006+07:00

maybe may was a may-day to me. a lot of unfortunate events happened.

but i've made it all through, safe and sound! :D

promise, you won't see me posting cheesy love stories and personal mellow rants anymore! are you happy? well, you have to! :D

why oh why, you asked.

well, its because i finally:

neutralized my feelings towards the certain guy (whom i've posted so many times, read my older entries duh).
found a perfect multivitamin in capsules which actually working (called Royal Ginseng Plus+) but the bottle is weirdly resembles a man-only-supplement kinda stuff -_-"" so for the sake of every mankind, i'd prefer to keep it safe at home, wouldn't let anyone catch a glance at it. but im telling you no joke; it's SERIOUSLY working, dude. you'll feel healthier, fresher, stronger, everyday!
said "the" words to him, without breaking my heart :D

yup yup, pretty simple for you perhaps :D

oh oh, anyway, i recently spend my days (besides attending summer class) playing NDS :D its fun! downloaded tons off good fun addictive games to keep me distracted from the boring class.

and another good news: i just got the order sheet from inibuku.com, an online bookstore. said that i gotta transfer the cash then the items will be shipped afterwards :) ohh cant wait to read 'em all!

BTW, since im not hitting on that guy anymore, im gonna support him as a best friend, through thick and thin :D no more "forbidden" feelings! LOL

okaaaaaaayyyyyy... i think that's enough for now, sprinkle ya later!! ♥

dreamy ♥

2010-06-02T20:46:00.006+07:00

ok, lemme tell you my current obsession; KANAME KURAN. but i'd prefer calling him kaname-sama ♥

"who the hell is he?" you asked.

Kaname Kuran (玖蘭枢) is a pureblood vampire, who saved Yuki Cross from an attack by a Level E when she was five years old. Kaname is one of the main male protagonist. Prior to his re-awakening, Kaname was the ancestor of the Kuran family. He is born in the year of the Rooster. His height is 184 cm (6'1") and shares a similar appearance with Haruka and Rido Kuran.

He is normally a stoic and authoritative individual, but is very kind, warm, and gentle to Yuki. This disposition bothers both Yuki and the Night Class vampires, who do not understand his favouritism towards her. He is very strict and often imposes discipline in a fierce way, yet he is indulgent to Yuki. Kaname has acknowledged to Rido that he has a contrary nature, which leads him to both desiring to lock Yuki up and keep her to himself and alternatively, to watch her protectively while encouraging her to be herself. Kaname never hides the fact that he is not interested in anything else but Yuki’s welfare. Every action he makes is towards one goal, and that is Yuki’s safety, his greatest fear is losing her. He is very determined to have Yuki live for all of eternity by his side and not only deeply fears losing her because of the ten years she spent as a human, but because of the mysterious loss in his past. He seems to frequently plots things in secret making him rather secretive and mysterious. Kaname sacrifices everything for her, he wanted her to at least stay by his side even if she rejected his sins and later refuses to reject her and declared he would rather die than lose her, to show how deep his love for her is.

Kaname Kuran is the class president of the Night Class, both feared and respected by the other Night Class students. While he is cold and authoritative towards his contemporaries in the Night Class, he is always kind and sweet to Yuki. Kaname has shown that he cares for Yuki in a romantic sense and that he had fallen for Yuki ever since they were children. He wants to be closer to her, but senses how shy she is about it. Since he adores her, she is reluctantly accepted by the Night Class. He has attempted countless times to expand intimacy with Yuki. He is also Yuki's fiancée and Yuki knows him as her brother. He shares the Chairman's goal of peace between vampires and humans. He worked with the Chairman to create the Night Class at Cross Academy and with his presence, allows the Night Class to be kept in check. But the real reason Kaname agreed to attend the academy is so that he can be near Yuki and protect her.
As a Pureblood, Kaname is capable of controlling lesser vampires, but he chooses not to exercise his powers, thus earning the respect of the Noble vampires. In the fanbook it is stated that he is all powerful. Even his shadow mirror is capable of beating up another pureblood, he can create different shapes that monitor Yuki, such as a wolf or bats.

Kaname is the ancestor of Kuran, one of the originals vampires. During his original time, he despaired to such great heights, he chose to lay down in a coffin and never awaken, waiting to turn into dust instead. During this long sleep, his hair continues to grow, but when he awakens he is a rotting corpse. Kaname makes references to the loss of a love who sacrificed herself for a lost cause and the loss of his love is probably the cause of his despair.
Rido stole Juri and Haruka's first child, also named Kaname, inspired by the fact they shared a name, he sacrificed the baby to awaken the Kuran ancestor. Rido wanted to awaken the ancestor because he wanted to be the one to tame the beast and drink its blood, through this act, Rido became Kaname's master. However, upon his rising, Kaname instead attacks and drinks Rido's blood instead. During the interim, Kaname was mysteriously reverted into the body of a child and Kaname was raised by Juri and Haruka, though they never told Kaname earlier, Haruka was aware he wasn't really their son. Kaname loses his memories, only slowly awakening over time. He declares that he has regained his former self by the time that he destroys the council, perceiving that the essences of vampires have not changed since his time of going to sleep, stating enigmatically they are continue to build the same invisible cage. Prior to going to sleep he had mysterious decided a course of action, which he put off and went to sleep instead. He states that he will now continue that course and that the council is his first step.

source: http://vampireknight.wikia.com/wiki/Kaname_Kuran

read the manga here: http://www.onemanga.com/Vampire_Knight/ you wont be regret. seriously. its a good read. currently rated #1 at top shoujo manga list in http://onemanga.com

here is the pic of him. my best found *wink* :

hahah!! i prefer the manga version than the anime. he looks hotter! i mean look at those eyes!! it almost like he wanna say, "fuck me." LMFAO.

oh god, but he is INDEED a heart-throbber.

i mean with all his pureblood status, royal background... PLEASE MAKE ME YOURS, KANAME-SAMA~!! \(>A<)9

and my boy friends been calling me nuts.

mellow biatch.

2010-05-31T21:28:00.003+07:00

hahaha i know i've been such an angst lil' whore recently.

mellow emo post about love and feelings. duh.

well good news, for those who have been suffering, trying all their efforts holding the urge to puke; the initial R finally come back.

aha.

the other one? the forbidden crush? er.. i dont really care about him anymore, cross my heart for that.

and oh yeah, i currently reading Vampire Knight manga scan.

summary: Cross Academy is attended by two groups of students: the Day Class and the Night Class. At twilight, when the students of the Day Class return to their dorm, they cross paths with the Night Class on their way to school. Yuki Cross and Zero Kiryu are the Guardians of the school, there to protect the Day Class from the Academy's dark secret: the Night Class is full of vampires. (http://www.onemanga.com/Vampire_Knight/)

its damn well good; both the graphic and the plot. you guys should check it out at http://www.onemanga.com/Vampire_Knight/ i ain't kidding here, folks ♥

but if you were guy, maybe it would bore you, since the main characters includes uber beautiful jaw dropping unbelievably cool male vampires. and they're targeting female readers, so yeah..

anyway, what you guys do this summer? i haven't prepared any plan yet. but im thinking Jogja, or Bali, or somewhere. oversea? oh i hope so.

tomorrow would be my first day of summer class, hope i could do well during these exhausting oh so boring period. pray for me!!

anyway, i must continue reading the addictive Vampire Knight..! oh kaname-sama.. bite me~!

just realized.

2010-05-30T20:51:00.006+07:00

hey, i missed you. i have been, since the second you go offline.

where are you? i keep counting, now is the 7th day you're missing in action.

you know that i care about you a lot right? you know that for me, you are irreplaceable right?

you should have learned from the past, just how much i love you i keep on chasing.

now that we both are finally together, you are gone.

if you read this, well i doubt that you would; i admit that i made a big mistake.

i might have fallen for that guy but i'm over it now.

he was the past.

you are the future.

you know, maybe what i felt towards him back then was only a teenage crush. nothing more beyond that limit.

but what i feel towards you, until now, is way different; i love you with all my heart.

and i just realized; i couldn't be the same person without your presence.

you know, love, i'm crying to sleep a lot because of you. we fought like.. zillion times but deep inside we know that we loved each other too much.. sometimes simple glitch of misunderstood would sparks the fire.

now i'm wondering where are you now?

are you OK?

have you found someone who understand you more and makes you happy?

well if it's the case, i'm letting you go :)

i believe if we were meant to be, then we would eventually back together again.

i love you, initial R :D

laughing my hearts off

2010-05-26T09:52:00.004+07:00

... and pretend as if i dont care.

it would help to ease the pain. hopefully.

girl talk & similar dreams ♥

2010-05-26T08:16:00.004+07:00

well i met up with my friend at monday, i was bored at that moment and besides i wanted to give her a birthday present, so i texted her and then we met at PIM.

i never told anyone before about what i currently feeling, the disturbing crush. i didn't know where the urge comes but i told her anyway, the whole story LOL. and i finally told her how it began.

she said that what i feel is normal, i'd be damned if i didn't feel anything.

but really, if i had to choose, i'd prefer not to feel it at all. its disturbing. consuming.

besides, i already have him. i mean he is the only one who loves me so far.

you know, all these jealousy and stuff, i hate it.

i really, seriously, wanna get rid off him.

i mean we dont event match at the first place.

i hate this. i hate this feeling. i hate not being able to do a thing. i hate to hide it inside. i hate that i have to lie.

OMG i think im crying. hahaha.

why does it hurts so much?

Meetup after birthday

2010-05-23T00:24:00.001+07:00

First, I wanna wish for the second time to ines:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Sorry if I didn't bring any gift, I totally forgot to bought you one :( *guilty guilty*

But I'll make sure I'm gonna get one and give it to you once we meet again :)

Btw we had a late luch at Platinum, Pondok Indah Mall.

We talked randomly, from ines's breakups, amanda's holiday, and my stupid crush.

Ohhh and I did a french manicure.
How was it? Shiny eh?

LOL

And I'm still in touch with the jerk.

Sorry bff, I've tried and I failed :(

Anyhow...

TODAY WAS GREAT.

Xo

Sent from my BlackBerry®
powered by Sinyal Kuat INDOSAT

HELLYEAH.

2010-05-21T19:09:00.004+07:00

lets do a toast, cherrypie ♥

no more paper, essay, test, and blah blah whatever.

can you smell the freedom?

FINAL TEST FINALLY OVER!!

still, i gotta apply for the summer class. but no biggie, i could still plan a vacation or two.

oh prince, take me with you ♥

1 day left!! ♥

2010-05-20T13:43:00.005+07:00

hell yeah!! just one day left!!

i'm not feeling well today, its because i've been sleeping so late since the 1st day of final exam. soon after i've done the victimology couple hours ago, i went straight home.

but no worries :) i don't have to stay up late again tonight :)

no more burdening papers or essays, YEAAAH!!!!!!!

but really, i hope i'm okay, i mean typhoid fever is the thing i least expected :(

i gotta think of a plan to spend my short holiday since i'm must apply for the short term. err.. if you're not familiar, its like summer class. so i have to attend class whereas other on vacation.

i'm thinking about jogja, or another cities.

oh yeah, already re-cleared the probs with him last night, and as usual he didn't even pay any shit. seriously. so i think its really done now.

but who cares with him anyway? just like what toybox's said, "it tickles in my tummy, he's so yummy yummy ♥" if you know what i mean - LOL

alright folks, gotta rest a bit, maybe short nap will do.

catch you later pretty soon!

HUGE! :)

2010-05-18T21:10:00.005+07:00

guess what.

I'VE DONE MY CRIME RISK ANALYSIS!!

omg im feeling bliss!! it turned out easier than i thought. thanks to my beloved BFs. ♥

i was thinking about crime spatial mapping and such but after i received my BFs e-mails i'm like; "gosh! that's it? hell yeah i can do this!"

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh god im beyond satisfied!! ♥

now what;s on queue? victimology. okay, i'll do the shit tomorrow after submitting this one. YEAY!

gratitude goes to my partner-in-crime slash besties slash uberkewl boyfriends; these two guys are awesome! ♥

sailing

2010-05-18T06:51:00.004+07:00

i was crying last night, thanks to the jerky shit who crushed me down.

usually i don't feel comfy in telling people what i feel, but recently (well last night to be exact) --i didn't know where the urges come from-- i finally talked to my friend about it.

well he didn't really solve a thing but at least he provided me a good distraction.

and i owe him for that ♥

i'm sucks at sharing, i'm too afraid i might sounds so dumb and get judged. LOL

oh well, how crazy it might be, at least i've got friends. world is not that cruel, really.

thank you boys ♥ owe you one!

2010-05-17T18:58:00.002+07:00

YEAAAYYYY!! finally got the data needed for my crime risk analysis paper ♥

thanks to my beloved boy friends, owe you guys oneeeee!! *hugs* *hugs* :D

i dunno what i'd do w/o their uber magnificent help :') i mean i supposed to be going today but cancelled, and my bfs suddenly wanna do the field research and then i asked whether they wanna share what they got, and they did!! HUUGEEEEEEEEE!!

really they're the best. love you guys xoxo ♥

paper monster

2010-05-17T13:42:00.002+07:00

term paper on queue:

crime risk analysis
victimology

the first one is rather hard. deadline is wednesday but it requires criminal data from the place you pick.

the problem is, its not that easy getting data from the requered place. well, i dont know what's gonna happen with mine, im waiting for an angel to give me the data i need. already did a google search but come up zero.

oh. another good news; he didnt even apologize or something or trying to show me that he care. means he is never ever worth.

okay, wish me a good luck for the final term.

tik tok

2010-05-16T17:59:00.004+07:00

i finally said the words.

no need to explain further.

just wanna scream out loud, "BYE BYE FUCKER!!!!"

now let me enjoy my life :)

freaking term papers and weird dreams

2010-05-16T09:53:00.003+07:00

okay, let me list what's been burdening me:

term papers (tons of 'em!)
weird dreams about particular person who appears quite often recently
that guy
my anxiety disorder
my annoying sudden mood swing

final term is happening NOW. and the points listed above will definitely make my efforts to survive become more and more hardcore, if you know what i mean.

i need more praying sessions. it can calms me i know, but damn i'm such a lazyass.

but glad to know that anxiety disorder is not that dangerous, but since im so psychosomatic, it can affects my health too.

oh god. i need a calm-downs.

Devilberry

2010-05-14T20:56:00.003+07:00

new silicon case for my beloved BlackBerry® gemini :)

It has horns on the top, devil!

I bought it today, at 25k IDR. Cheap eh?

Now my BlackBerry® looks cuter than ever! :)

Sent from my AXIS Worry Free BlackBerry® smartphone

:)

2010-05-13T22:10:00.003+07:00

Weak
I have been crying and crying for weeks
How’d I survive when I can barely speak
Barely eat, On my knees

But that’s the moment u came to me
I don’t know what your love has done to me
Think I’m invincible
I see though the me I used to be

You changed my whole life
Don’t know what your doing to me with your love
I’m feeling all super human, you did that to me
A super human heart beats in me
Nothing can stop me here with you
Super human (I feel so superhuman X2)
Super human

Strong
Since I’ve been flying and righting the wrongs
Feels almost like I’ve had it all along
And I can see tomorrow

Where every problem is gone because
I flew everywhere with love inside of me
It’s unbelievable to see how love can set me free

You changed my whole life
Don’t know what your doing to me with your love
I’m feeling all super human, you did that to me
A super human heart beats in me
Nothing can stop me here with you
Super human (I feel so superhuman X2)
Super human

It’s not a bird, not a plane
It’s my heart and it’s going, gone away

My only weakness is you
Only reason is you
Every minute with you
I can feel like I can do anything
Going going, I’m gone away in love

You changed my whole life
Don’t know what your doing to me with your love
I’m feeling all super human, you did that to me
A super human heart beats in me
Nothing can stop me here with you
Super human
Super human

i've been denying for lives, thought that you weren't capable enough for me.

but i think i'm wrong.

you can see me when the others dont :)

wtf loads of burdening paper. shit.

2010-05-13T08:03:00.003+07:00

next week is the final exam, and too good to be true, the lecturer already gave tons of take home test which must me handed at the final test day as you all know; next week. sucks? duh.

and im like entering the stressful phase and depression. i hate deadlines.

what make everything seems so fucked up is the fact that im not in a good condition, i think. i don't feel good. well yeah, i rarely feel well to be exact. remind me to do a general checkup.

i dont know since when i'm starting to become so weak, got sick easily, and rapidly attacked by typhoid fever. its kinda scary you know? i hope i can live longer.

BTW, i gotta ask for crime preventing system's assignment, i must finish this today because the lecturer demand it by tomorrow. and i lost the instruction. damn.

hope i can go though this hectic pile of mass assignment safely and successfully.

amen.

crime risk analysis? done!

2010-05-12T07:46:00.004+07:00

YEE-HA!

since i've done it yesterday, now the remaining burden can be shortened.

actually i gotta hand it to my lecturer TODAY at 11.00 AM so i must depart from home at 9.00 AM sharp.

i'm quite satisfied of the result, but i know i didn't give it all out and i can do better than that. but however.. YEAYY!! THE MAJOR BURDEN IS GONE NOW!! at least for this week, since next week is the final exam, it will be hectic.

oh btw i havent talked to him since yesterday. where the hell has he been?

newsssssss!! i bought a new axis sim card yesterday, expecting to have a good reasonable price for my BIS plan, but apparently the signal is so sucks and it gets me very frustrated until now. i think im gonna drain the remaining credits then switch back to indosat x(

anyway, have a nice day guys, please pray for my grandma ok? she's still in the hospital. at the ICU, to be more detail. hope she'll get better soon :'(

god, please save my grandma

2010-05-11T18:32:00.003+07:00

God, please.. we still need her :'(

my granpa&ma always wanted to see me graduated, but you already took grandpa away. so please, at least let my grandma see what she's been dreaming about; to see me wearing the toga and finished bachelor degree :'(

God, i love my grandma so much; she took care of me when i was a little kid, at that time my mom went abroad to continue her study :'(

I'm begging you dear Lord, give her a chance to live longer and fulfill all her dreams :'(

go on stalk me, bitch

2010-05-11T07:02:00.005+07:00

i'm like, "wtf..? get a life plz, mine is better than yours. to be HOOOOOO-NEST"

i dont mind being stalked virtually though. i mean my twitter is public, and you can find all my social networking sites on my FB even though you're not yet befriended with me.

i'm quite open, you see?

but i never, ever, mention your name or hinting you at my post after that period. i mean, what are you trying to show here? i dont even care you hinting me in your post, duh. in fact, like what i've said before, my blog is better than yours, dumbass. once again; what are you trying to prove actually?

and you write shits no one would read with expired images? gawd. you really should do more reasearch.

you can post how much you want, even if you coincidentally post an entry after me. i dont mind, really. i know you follow mine anonymously. you know? tag me or formspring me sometimes. plus, you're following my twitter, so at least mention me. if you dont have any guts, DM me then ;)

oh, must finish my crime risk analysis's paper.

catch you guys later!

raise your hand if you love slacking?

2010-05-10T17:30:00.004+07:00

i should have been doing the fuckin' assignment right now.

but apparently i cant stop online and browsing the net, looking for i dunno what and who cares anyway.

well yeah, recently, i love posting pictures. hahahaha, sorry if it annoys you :p

looks like im gonna sign up for the gym thing.. uh im not really sure. maybe.

BTW cant wait for that day. LOOOOOVEEEEE ♥

yeay!

2010-05-10T16:33:00.005+07:00

you know, i just happened to wandering through my files, and found the related pdfs and ppts for my current assignment! YEAY!!

at first i thought that i would have to search at google book to back up the theory. it kinda annoying because it cant be selected and copied like most pdfs. so usually i translate what i need trough a piece of paper, then type the edited result back and finally merge it with the whole document. tiring huh? i thought so.

then it happened. a sudden memory burst. i quickly searched my bag for flashdisk, plugged it into the PC, and wwwwosssh! all i need is there!

so i think i could finish it tonight and wouldn't be worrying too much tomorrow :)

ah, another miracle from God! ♥

scratch here and there. type type.

2010-05-10T15:26:00.004+07:00

HELL-O!! after whining and ranting sooo much at the previous posts.. i think im gonna do the crime risk analysis's paper. the deadline is tomorrow so i gotta finish this quick.

already got the data needed from my buddy. now im gonna search the theory via my fave and beloved source for college needs: google book search!

can't download the required PDFs from Jstor, the access is limited.

scribd helps sometimes, but my major bible is still google book! nyahhahaha!

oh, i cant live w/o google, really.

btw maybe i should prepare a hot beverage to accompany me doing the assignment. and maybe something chewable.

OK then, lets do the shit.

i played with fire, now its burning.

2010-05-10T13:19:00.005+07:00

Closed off from love
I didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you're frozen

But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melts into the ground
Found something true
And everyone's looking round
Thinking I'm going crazy

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep Bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding in love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding in love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding in love
You cut me open

above is taken from Leona Lewis's keep bleeding.

this situation i am facing now is not by coincidence. i was forced myself to love, hoping that i would heal quickly and open my eyes. turns out that what i did is wrong. now im in love and it feels so wrong.

bring me back.

2010-05-10T12:38:00.004+07:00

i think i am frustrated, infuriated, and afraid for no reason.

maybe the fact that final test is approaching, tons of paper, assignment, and crazy deadlines.

or maybe im just to afraid of the end. im afraid im going to fall. hard, and destroyed when i finally hit the bottom.

i am full of flaw, cracks, and holes.

i am fragile.

over sensitive and too moody.

i am the type which always regret.

i dont even know why i'm turning into this emotional mode. my mood swing is too fast, i dont even realize.

i feel hatred, i feel sadness.

pray for my final test okay?

2010-05-10T11:44:00.003+07:00

rough times.

my grandma is still in ICU.

my health is getting better but sometimes i feel strange. like the sudden tiredness, or the annoying feeling that make me wanna puke.

and the love thing, yeah. this one sums it all up.

im planning to register for a gym, but i don't know for sure. the price is friendly, but the location isn't. well, its like 1hour from my grandma's or 1.5 hour from my home. what do you guys think? maybe go run in the neighborhood every morning sounds better? already asked my friend about that and he picked the free run.

the problem is that i'm such a lazy ass.

i never, bold this one, never ever been running at my own neighborhood. well maybe i did once when im still a little kid.

so watcha say? register or not?

OH AND THE PAPER. tons of 'em.

fuck this life.

crush

2010-05-01T07:45:00.001+07:00

I hung up the phone tonight,
Something happened for the first time,
Deep inside it was a rush, what a rush,
Cause the possibility that
You would ever feel the same away about me,
It’s just too much, just too much
Why do I keep running from the truth,
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized,
And I just got to know
Do you ever think, when you’re all alone,
All that we can be, where this thing can go,
Am I crazy or falling in love,
Is it real or just another crush
Do you catch a breath, when I look at you,
Are you holding back, like the way I do,
Cause I’m tryin’, tryin’ to walk away
But I know this crush aint’ goin’ away, goin’ away
Has it ever cross your mind when we’re hangin’,
Spending time girl,
Are we just friends, is there more, is there more,
See it’s a chance we’ve gotta take,
Cause I believe that we can make this into
Something that will last,
Last forever, forever
Do you ever think, when you’re all alone,
all that we can be, where this thing can go,
Am I crazy or falling in love,
Is it real or just another crush
Do you catch a breath, when I look at you,
Are you holding back, like the way I do,
Cause I’m tryin’, tryin’ to walk away
But I know this crush aint’ goin’ away, goin’ away
Why do I keep running from the truth,
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized,
And I just got to know
Do you ever think, when you’re all alone,
all that we can be, where this thing can go,
Am I crazy or falling in love,
Is it real or just another crush
Do you catch a breath, when I look at you,
Are you holding back, like the way I do,
Cause I’m tryin’, tryin’ to walk away
But I know this crush aint’ goin’ away, goin’ away

above is a song from david archuleta. entitled crush.

well, like you've expected, yes, maybe i'm hitting on someone. but unlike what the lyrics said, the possibility that he would feel the same way is too small. negative, to be exact. LOL

since junior high, i've been hitting on random guys. simple crush with no progress. i mean, im like a secret admirer but without malicious sending of cards, gift etc. just loving from distance. pathetic eh? yeah, i would call myself as such.

you know, i shouldn't write too much here, just in case. hahahhaha.

well... all i hope is that he will never know. i dont wanna ruin what have been settled.

but i know this crush ain't going away..

complexion

2010-04-26T10:26:00.001+07:00

maybe you haven't notice but hey.. new template!!

the typhoid fever is periodically "tamed".

im getting better but the doc said i shouldn't be too fatigued and rest more often. also sleep early at night.

oh, im so sorry i rarely post pics nowadays.. i tend to post on twitter whenever something interesting happens and too lazy to transfer the pic to PC.

forgive my laziness please :(

btw guys, just follow @hestchi for my recent updates :p

err.. what else? love life? sour. health? worse. money? still saving.

new cravings? dsi or dsi xl or 3ds (this one available next year *damn*)

crush? er.. hahahahahah alright, enough for today.. CU again pretty soon!

typhoid fever

2010-04-19T10:00:00.001+07:00

Typhoid fever, also known as Salmonella typhi or commonly just typhoid,^[1] is a common worldwide illness, transmitted by the ingestion of food or water contaminated with the feces of an infected person.^[2] The bacteria then perforate through the intestinal wall and are phagocytosed by macrophages. The organism is a Gram-negative short bacillus that is motile due to its peritrichous flagella. The bacterium grows best at 37 °C/99 °F – human body temperature.
This fever received various names, such as gastric fever, the bends, abdominal typhus, infantile remittant fever, slow fever, nervous fever,pythogenic fever, etc. The name of " typhoid " was given by Louis in 1829, as a derivative from typhus.
The impact of this disease falls sharply with the application of modern sanitation techniques.
source: Wikipedia

sounds scary? well that is happening to me right now.

i've been re-infected (well.. this typhoid thingy come often) since last monday. been a week? yes. and the bacteria level is higher than previous attack so i need more time to rest.

i've skipped some classes, unsubmitted some assignments and hell, i'm gonna skip more. i can't even stand on my feet too long. bed is my buddy for now.

so sorry for the lack of updates and pics.. been very busy and no time to play with the cam. and since my fave cam phone still missing.. well lets hope for the best.

okay, must rest. keep healthy, ppl! :) pray for me ok?

hello twilito!

2010-04-08T18:44:00.001+07:00

i found a nice post on http://autumnforestghosthunter.blogspot.com/2010/04/conversation-with-bella-girl-to-girl.html about twilight, mainly bella. go click the link if you have time. you dont? well too bad :(

but dont worry, im gonna show you the most interesting part:

Bella, we need to have a serious talk. Look at you! No wonder even a vampire and a werewolf won’t so much as eat you. You have no hobbies or interests or perceivable intelligence. You’ve abandoned your friends and pathetic social life. You actually have no discernible personality, stand on any social issues and not one goal for when you grow up, and your 18 years old!

In fact, when Edward or Jacob isn’t around, you simply do-not-exist. You’re a pale suicidal hermit.

Do you realize how unattractive that is to a guy, that you can’t eat or sleep without him? Guys aren’t keen on responsibility and that’s a heavy one—to be someone’s everything. You can’t even get Edward to get past first base without looking like he’s going to vomit.

Are you certain he isn’t gay? He does seem to like glitter makeup. I’m just sayin…

And what about Jacob? A shirtless bountifully male specimen trying to kiss you and you act like you’re going to have a seizure? Obviously, Jacob is the safe one. After all, dogs are faithful companions.

Let’s review your history with Edward. When you first met him, he thought you smelled awful and wanted to vomit. When you stared at him in the cafeteria like a freaky stalker, he looked like he wanted to vomit. When he rescued you from getting hit by the van, he stopped the vehicle while he was in the middle of regurg and ran away. Now, he up and moves away with his family and doesn’t so much as email you or text message you? Do excuses come any lamer?

Bella, honey, it’s time to accept the truth; he’s just not that into you…

sorry if this post annoys you, twilovers or team jacob or team edward whatever. duh.

i personally hate twilight series. it makes vampire image so gay! i mean with edward and his glittery skin.. hello??? anne rice's vamps (vampire lestat, etc) and the legendary count dracula are much much moooreeee better than twilight's vamps.

even if vampire does exist, i wont fall for the edward type. so gay.

not so importante

2010-04-06T21:20:00.001+07:00

guys, i switched back to cbox :D shoutmix wont fit at the small boxes of this newly brewed layout (its uh.. located @ the upper right).

and it's still empty anyway so i moved back with the old friendly cbox. uh huh.

BTW just did a quick google search and yay! someone linked my blog, at the rumah dara post. it was old stuff but still glad to know! XD

anyway.. how do you llike my new layout? a tag or two won't hurt ;) comment or formspring too if you want *puppy eyes*

oh, i skipped class today. thank god the lecturer didn't come! yay! so i didn't waste my transport money for today! go go saving!!

mom told me to use piggybank instead. its administration-charge's free.

but im planning to open an account in mandiri bank though. and register for long-term-deposit-thingy in dollar. just wanna minimize the potency of sucking money from the ATM! woohoo!

first trial will be 1yr period, lets see how it goes from there. i mean if i save $10 each month, then it will be $120 in 1yr. not much but hey, im trying! and if God grants me extra money (which will transmitted trough my mom then she will pass it to me), i will do more saving so i hope in the end of the year it will be more than $120.

BTW if i eventually do open an account tomorrow, then i will tighten my shopping&social budgets. awww :(

anyway.. wish me luck guys!

bloggy boost!

2010-04-05T22:15:00.001+07:00

well... after the hot issue i got a day ago, my bloggy mood just BOOOSSSST UPPP AHEADD!!

its like 50% percent more higher than before. super cool eh?

i can finally reducing the major glitch of the writer's block. haha!

BTW im hungry now. been eating like a pig since morning.

go on fatty, embrace me and raise my weight up!!

-------time swap----------

now i have rice and tahu bacem in front of me, ready to be eaten!!!

ok what now?

hmm..

oh yeah, he texted me with a love psycho-test thingy but to bad i got not enough credit to reply.

allright. i have to eat now.

ja ne!

new template, new taggie

2010-04-05T12:02:00.001+07:00

hello readers!!!

im abusing my keyboard now, no class today so i think im gonna procrastinating all day.

i have a good news and a bad news.

bad news first; I SWITCHED TO SHOUTMIX. :( means the taggie is still empty :( wish i could transfer the cbox entry to shoutmix.

now with the good one: NEW TEMPLATE!! less ababil*! nyahhaahhahaha

so.. now, puhleaseeee dearest visitors... tag me one or two, k? ;)

*ababil: terms used in bahasa to describe emotionally labile individual or group

what is the purpose

2010-04-04T20:46:00.002+07:00

i dont know, i am a little bit shocked about what i've just heard. it seems that a friend of mine.. did several plagiarisms over a blog. this person has a blog written in great english, so good that it caused a curiosity towards my informer. so the informer checked it out via google.. then wooosssh! plagiarism detected.

i dont know why that person, lets call.. X, did that.

i mean, my english is also bad, but at least im trying. its a learning process dear.. maybe what you did will make people salute you. but for how long? what if they eventually find out that well.. you're not that good?

i'm writing what i write now not because i hate you. i just wanna tell you that if you want to achieve something.. in this case.. good writing skill, then you must learn to do it on your own.

and fair.

tragic

2010-04-04T15:09:00.001+07:00

tragic is how to describe me. just for letting myself emotionally played with this guy.

you know the old story. the one i used to blabbed my mouth on. about this particular guy. the one who broke me and in the same time gathered the pieces.

well, i am still not over him now.

call me stupid.

i consciously let him come to my live again, but i give him less access to my life now. consider it a precaution.

and as usual we always fight. enough to ensuring the whole universe that we both are the same pole.. always clash.

but in the same time i cant.. well.. not yet capable of letting him go.

so here i am, angry and furious.

GOD, find me someone so i will eventually get over this major source of my emotional and mood problem.

simple survey

2010-04-03T22:07:00.001+07:00

rules: bold the statement(s) which represents you the most! if you wanna copy this survey to your blog, please link it back to mine! thanks :)

You are female

You are in high school

You dropped out of high school

You graduated within the last 5 years

You live on your own

You live within 20 minutes of your best friend

You live within 20 minutes of the last person you kissed

You live within 20 minutes of your ex

You have hugged someone in the last 48 hours

You have been to the movies within the last week

You have had 3 or more boyfriends/girlfriends just this year

You have been a designated driver

You have broken merchandise and not paid for it

You have played strip poker

You are atheist

You recycle regularly

You are a brunette

You have dated a blonde

You are friends with a redhead

You are taller than your mom

You have a checking account

You’ve written a check for less than $5

You have visited the Statue of Liberty

You have visited the Eiffel Tower

You have visited Big Ben

You have visited the Coliseum

You have visited The Great Wall of China

You have never been out of the country

You have been a waiter/waitress

You own a Bible

You own something with a Pentagram on it

You have used a Ouija Board

You have been a witch for Halloween

You have been a zombie for Halloween

You have been a Disney character for Halloween

You don’t celebrate Halloween

You have your belly button pierced

You have your tongue pierced

You have your eyebrow pierced

You have a Monroe piercing

You have your nose pierced

You have a tattoo

You have an ankle tattoo

You have a wrist tattoo

You have a back tattoo

You have no tattoos

You have more than 5 tattoos

You straighten your hair

You have worn a dress in the last 3 days

You live somewhere that gets snow

You celebrate Chanukkah

You were at your own house last New Year’s

You were at a bar last New Year’s

You slept through last New Year’s

You have worked on Christmas Eve

You have worked on Christmas

You have been told ‘I love you’ by someone today

You were told by someone not who’s not family

You slept in your own bed last night

You are dating the last person you kissed

You regret kissing the last person you kissed

You enjoyed your last kiss

You are wearing a necklace right now

You are wearing something red

You are wearing something blue

You are wearing something purple

Your phone is fully charged

Your phone number ends with an even number

You have kissed the last person you called/texted

You last called/texted a boy

You are currently listening to music

You are waiting for something

You don’t like seafood

You have eaten deer sausage

You have given a complete stranger your phone number

You have been hit on at work

You have been hit on by someone more than 20 years older than you

You have been whistled at

You were creeped out by it

You are a good speller

You are very punctual

You were dating someone in December of 2008

You are still dating that person

You have cheated on someone

You have been cheated on

You have been on a cruise ship

You have camped out in your own backyard

You are wearing something that doesn’t belong to you

You are a Pisces

You are a Leo

You are a Capricorn

You have Irish heritage

You have Polish heritage

You have Japanese heritage

You have Israeli heritage

You have German heritage

You have Portuguese heritage

You have French heritage

You have Norwegian heritage

You have Korean heritage

You were born in May

You were born in June

You were born in October

You wonder what will happen when you die

You are afraid of the dark

You write in all capital letters

You have been told you have nice handwriting

You have had a song written for you

You have had a picture drawn of you

You have curly hair

Your phone provider is Sprint

Your phone provider is AT&T

Your phone provider is Verizon

You live within an hour of your birthplace

You are wearing a watch

You are wearing flip flops

You wouldn’t date someone who smoked

You know someone with the same birthday as you

You are a morning person

You are a night owl

You slept in past 10am today

You have big plans for next weekend

You are thinking of someone right now

Your job is stressing you out

You don’t have a job

You have never had a job

You were fired from your last job

You know sign language

You made your bed today

You will usually try something at least once

You have been swimming in the last month

You are pessimistic by nature

You have taken a ballet class

You have taken karate

You have taken gymnastics

You wish on shooting stars

You wish at 11:11

Your birthday has already come this year

You have been in a relationship that lasted longer than a year

You ended your last relationship

Your ex ended your last relationship

You are over your ex

You have gone after someone you knew was bad for you

You have let someone use you

You have been in a physically abusive relationship

You are engaged

You are married

You are divorced

You have a child

You were/are a teenage mom

You were named after someone

You like your name

Your last drink was water

You have visited somewhere said to be ‘haunted’

You have skipped school just because you didn’t feel like going

You have taken medicine when you ‘feel a headache coming on’

You are self-conscious about your body

You have a hangover

You have had a Jehovah’s Witness show up at your house

You have pet fish

You live on a farm

You live in a trailer

You live in Montana

You live in South Carolina

You live in Illinois

You live in Maryland

You live in New Mexico

You have godparents

You have step-siblings

You are the oldest

You are adopted

You have a twin

You don’t want kids

You want more than four kids

You have a bad temper

You have made out with a complete stranger

You usually make the first move in an intimate situation

You regret losing your virginity

You lost your virginity to someone the same age as you

You lost your virginity to someone you were dating

You lost your virginity before you were sixteen

You have worked with a Kayla

You have gone to the movies with a Jared

You have hugged a Lexie

You have held hands with a Marcus

You have dated a Rachel

You have kissed a David

You have ridden in a car with a Nicole

You have had class with a Patrick

You have gone out to eat with a Chloe

You know a Kyle in the military

You are related to a Julie

You have gotten drunk with a Brent

You have broken your arm

You have had to get stitches on your face

You have had an MRI

Your fingernails are painted

Your fingernails are painted black

You like to read

You like to cook

You like to draw

You can play an instrument

You keep a lot of secrets from people

You don’t think people would accept you if they really got to know you

You don’t trust people easily

You borrowed something you really need to give back to someone

You drive a car older than a 2002

You have lost a friend you never thought you would

You know a child who died of cancer

You know a teenager who died in a car wreck

You have done something illegal in the past 24 hours

You have cut your hair in the last week

You wear glasses

You have been pulled over for speeding

You love to drive with the windows down

Your favorite season is Autumn

Your favorite color is orange

Your favorite animal is a dolphin

You last rode in a car with a relative

You last rode in a car with a girl

You last rode in a car with the person you are dating

You regularly watch soap operas

You love Italian food

You love Mexican food

You love Chinese food

You can see a box of tissues from where you are

You can see your reflection in a mirror

You can see what’s on tv from where you are

Your best friend is older than you

You have to go to school/work tomorrow

You answered every question truthfully

cold milk

2010-04-03T21:32:00.000+07:00

cold milk is my fella. hahah. *drinking milk*

i have to hold the urge to write with bahasa. *sigh*

anyway it has been.. what.. like 2 weeks or more, my beloved phone had gone missing.

i am still depressed, scared, stressed since.

anyway i should be sleeping now but postponed a bit. wanna write an entry here!

well.. if i had to choose between losing my phone or my lover... err... lemme see... if the guy is him, maybe i'd choose to lose him. haha sounds insane right? but my phone,. is worthhhhh moreeee than that guy. not the price.. but the funcionality, the invisible bond between us. LOL, you know, bond can be formed through anything. even between people and gadget! trust me on this one.

oh suddenly wanna cry.

GOD, PLEASE... SHOW ME YOUR MERCY AND LET IT BE FOUND :(

ooohhhhh BTW.. i think i have a crush on someone. but im not sure. GRRRR probably because i'm not over that guy yet. hahahahah. Ok this is scary. i must get over him. the new guy is a lot better. wish me luck then. LOL

the bond is getting stronger

2010-03-30T21:54:00.000+07:00

okay.. from the last post i was in a total madness because my precious blackberry was broken down somehow. but yay! now you can forget that part, it was fixed already.

and even better, i got the new replacement. Blackberry Gemini! *smoooch* thanks mom n dad!

anywayyyy...

i couldnt recall every moment i've passed since the last post. too much and too lazy to remember it one by one.

there were mostly good. but some of them was bad :(

im gonna start with the good one first.

well, the new gemini was a good start. then passport. and.. hm.. new luggage maybe? hahahha ok, get real. well, seems like i can highlight this words: "bond". you know, the friendship thingy?

its getting stronger, i can feel it. either with my high school mate, or the college pals.

you know, whenever you feel alone or down, and you cant do anything.. there're always friends with their helping hands ready to embrace.

i can tell myself and i admit that i am indeed an introvert, but hey... friends help me a lot!

maybe im not that open to someone but at least im gonna try to share some if needed.

blabbing on twitter helps, but not always.

to make it short: I LOVE ALL MY FRIENDS *smooch*

nooowwww... with the bad news.

i lost my samsung sgh i780 ;(

so sad!!!

you know how narcissistic i am when im using its uberkewl front camera? ;(

im gonna tell you... im not a camera friendly. most of my good pics are taken from my beloved samsung ;(

even my new blackberry cant be compared. im a nun with back camera :(

pls GOD, find my samsung, i beg of you :(

hmm.. other than gadget related matters, the sad news also come from one of my besties.

she is.. in trouble. very deep trouble. even how much i wish to help, it cant be helped. well at least not as simple as it sounds.

i pray for her. may GOD find her a way.

OK..!! ^^

i think im done for now.

pics? uhhh later maybe. go visit my FB page for gallons of pics if you want .

i thrown off my blackberry and now my pc infected by SALITY :(

2010-02-23T18:29:00.000+07:00

hi, im so sad right now :(

1. my blackberry stopped working since two days ago, and i thrown it off cuz i was sooo angry at that moment

2. now my pc is infected by SALITY virus :( you can google for the virus's details.

i dont know what to say.. i feel so down.. :( i cant live w/o gadgets, they're like my twins :( i hope i will get the new one soon (blackberry). As for the PC.. lets pray for the best. I hate it if i must do the recovery and re-installing the whole thing :( cuz i'm already familiar with the softwares and applications. re-installing will cost huge efforts and it dont guarantee everything will be the same since i dont have all the backups, only basic softwares :(

well.. the results are:

. cant communicate freely via IM and BBM :( this is sooo bad :( i used to talk to my close friends, even just for a while or just say hi.

. cant tweet much :( im a tweetaddict :(

. mood dropped drastically :(

. miss the juicy gossips :(

. etc :(

well.. pray for me ok?

super short trip! 3days at Jogja!

2010-02-15T11:51:00.000+07:00

sorry for the delay..

well, the short vacation was only 3 days, starting from friday to monday. not really a vacation though cuz the main idea was to visit my uncle's wedding :) such a happy couple! you can see the pic of the groom and the bride at my previous post :D

let me describe the trip per point so it will be more simple and readable (since my grammar sucks.. -_-"):

day 1: departed to jogja by plane, took less than 1hr. we visited; Prambanan Temple, Malioboro, Mirota Batik, Dagadu
day 2: akad nikah (uhh.. its like before the wedding reception, in a mosque. religious+cultural ceremonial thingy), Mirota Batik, Beringharjo Market, Malioboro, Gudeg Yu Djum (Gudeg is Jogja's traditional + signature food) Wedding Party.
day 3: Borobudur Temple, Departure to jakarta :)

not much right? places i like the most are; Prambanan Temple, Borobudur Temple, and Mirota Batik ^_^

ooohh i LOVE Jogja A LOT! looking forward to visit that wonderful city again :)

on with the pics!

current song addiction; michael buble - everything

2010-02-08T19:46:00.000+07:00

You're a falling star, you're the get away car.
You're the line in the sand when I go too far.
You're the swimming pool, on an August day.
And you're the perfect thing to say.

And you play it coy but it's kinda cute.
Ah, when you smile at me you know exactly what you do.
Baby don't pretend that you don't know it's true.
'cause you can see it when I look at you.

[Chorus:]
And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, you make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

You're a carousel, you're a wishing well,
And you light me up, when you ring my bell.
You're a mystery, you're from outer space,
You're every minute of my everyday.

And I can't believe, uh that I'm your man,
And I get to kiss you baby just because I can.
Whatever comes our way, ah we'll see it through,
And you know that's what our love can do.

[Chorus]

So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

[Chorus:]
And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, you make me sing.
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.
You're every song, and I sing along.
'Cause you're my everything.
Yeah, yeah

So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
So, la, la, la, la, la, la, la

why oh why? because;

1. the song played at my uncle's wedding last Saturday.

2. it just "clicked"

3. the wedding ambiance, i got the song's feel.

4. the lyrics somehow inspired me to find my perfect one; the one who could make me sing this song all day :D

anyway, happy wedding to my uncle, rama and my new aunt, ira! :D have a lovely & perfect life!

god bless you both :)

RANDOM - surveys!

2010-02-08T15:20:00.000+07:00

whats your name spelt backwards?: i-t-s-e-h
What did you do last night?: sleep
The last thing you downloaded onto your computer?: mp3s
Have you ever licked a 9 volt battery?: why would i? eww!
Last time you swam in a pool?: last week
What are you wearing?: t-shirt, shorts
How many cars have you owned?: none, they're all my dad's
Type of music you dislike most?: hmmm i dunno. all genre will do as long as they're catchy
Are you registered to vote?: yes
Do you have cable?: no
What kind of computer do you use?: regular one, dont worry lol
Ever made a prank phone call?: yes
You like anyone right now?: maybe
Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?: sky
Furthest place you ever traveled?: bali
What's your favorite comic strip?: benny and mice
Do u know all the words to the national anthem?: of course!
Shower, morning or night?: night
Best movie you've seen in the past month?: avatar
Favorite pizza toppings?: cream mayo
Chips or popcorn?: chips
What cell phone provider do you have?: im3
Have you ever smoked peanut shells?: no
Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?: no
Orange Juice or apple?: apple
Who were the last people you sat at lunch with?: my bro
favorite chocolate bar?: toblerone
Ever ordered from an infomercial?: yes
Sprite or 7-UP?: sprite
Ever thrown up in public?: yes
Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love?: millionaire
Do you believe in love at first sight?: no
SPONGEBOB OR JIMMY NEUTRON?: sponge!

RANDOM: 10 things i like

2010-02-08T10:02:00.000+07:00

1. Blackberry; im a hardcore onliners and it keeps me sane when i'm away from my PC or when im on the go.

2. twitter; i dont blog as much as i tweet. microblogging rulez!!!

3. mp3 player; another survival gadgets. i prefer to use separated media player than the one attached inside my cellphone. i usually clung it to my neck. mine is mickey mouse head shaped, with eyes. the color is white like this one:

but with eyes like this one:

4. money; lets be bold and clear. we cant live without this LOL

5. shopping; girls love shopping. its in their blood ;)

6. watching movies; theater, DVDs, VCDs, MP4, FLV, MKV, AVI, or any video formatted thingy you name it. mostly i buy dvd. but lately i have habit to watch movie on theater.

7. yummy foods and drinks; im an eating monster! i eat a lot and love to dine out. any yummy food will do and i dont care about calories LOL!

8. travelling; domestic or international, you name it! i LOVE to travel around.

9. daydreaming; its a permanent habit.

10. my best friends & my family; simply cant live without them ;)

RANDOM - lets answer some stuff

2010-02-08T09:05:00.000+07:00

1. Where is your cell phone? on the table

2. Your hair? black

3. Your mother? govt. employee and lecturer

4. Your father? engineer, consultant

5. Your favorite food? mie aceh

6. Your dream last night? weird and random

7. Your favorite drink? teh tarik, green tea latte

8. Your dream/goal? intelligence, cyber crime expert

9. What room are you in? my bed room

10. Your hobby? online, tweeting, listening mp3s

11. Your fear? Allah SWT

12. What do you want to be in 6 years? on my top career

13. Where were you last night? home

14. Something you aren't? extrovert

15. Muffins?i hate those

16. Wish list item? new blackberry

17. Where did you grow up? Jakarta

18. Last thing you did? cook rice

19. What are you wearing? t-shirt & shorts

20. Your TV? LG pearl black

21. Your pets? had bunnies, but they're all RIP

22. Your friends? AWESOME

23. Your life? random, up and down.

24. Your mood? exhausted

25. Missing someone? Yes, lol

26. Vehicle? public's :)

27. Something you're not wearing? which make me uncomfy

28. Your favorite store? selling yummy foods, clothing store on sale, and bookstore!

29. Your favorite color? white

30. When was the last time you laughed? not too long ago

31. Last time you cried? i cry too much i didn't even remember when was the last time

32. Your best friend? galih, dhaniel, sando, egy, rahma, ines, manda

33. One place where I go over and over again? Yogyakarta :)

34. One person who emails me regularly? junk and spam

35. Favorite place to eat? TV room

hey hey been a long time!!

2010-02-01T12:34:00.001+07:00

okay so I've been absent for a few days. well hence my laziness im just

going to make points of what I've done in the recent days:

watched Rumah Dara. it was a GREAT movie! you guys should watch it too while it still playing on theater. more about this film? read my older entries or google it.
meetup with my highschool friends. it happened when we decided to watch rumah dara together. but one couldn't join though. i dont know why. maybe she got some problem but anyways we had fun.
ocean park. its a water park located at BSD serpong. hmm about 0.5 to 1hr distance from my house. me, my bro, and sis had a lot opf fun. but when we got home our arms and legs ached so badly. darn. but it was worth the fun.
forget and forgive. well actually this one was the momentym where i could eventually forget the jerk and maybe forgive him. hahah 1 week w/o contact and my organs still working. yeehaa.
new semester. nah, im looking forward to this one. meet my friends, study hard. hey, lets make this semester better than before!

oh well some photo shoots.

FYI the waterpark shoots are too large. i think im too lazy to resize it lol. so not much of them.

morning madness

2010-01-25T08:55:00.000+07:00

seharusnya sekarang nonton rumah dara di PIM2. tapi temen gw kok ga ada kabarnya ya??

gw udah sms si rahma.. tapi belom ada balesan.

gw ngebet banget nonton film ini. kalo mereka ga jadi pun gw tetep mau nonton! hahahahahaha.

eh udah gw ceritain belum sih, kemaren gw jalan2 ke Factory Outlet di bogor sama keluarga, tapi ga kayak biasanya, gw kali ini cuma beli tanktop sama shorts aja (its ZARA Basic yiihaaa ).

pulang dari bogor ngedrop ade gw dulu di pasar minggu. secara dia tinggal disana sama nenek (sekolahnya deket dari situ).

eh trus entah kerasukan apa, tiba2 dia minjemin casio gold watchnya ke gw. dan hari ini gw bakal pake buat jalan2 HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH.

BTW sarapan dulu ah.

hey i think im okay tho

2010-01-25T08:25:00.000+07:00

the last few days, i was like super emo and mellow and being a whiny bitch.

okayy so the ex pm'ed me several times. i didnt know what he want. he said he was still thinking about his first love blah blah. hey dude, c'mon. what was the point telling that to me? i cant make you both going back again rite???

and i unblocked him and his ex (yes, they broke up) from my FB blocklist. u know, i must get over it and move on. im tired of hiding. if someone gotta hide, its them not me.

soo.. here i am, nice and fluffy. hope i'll get better each day and move forward.

random: blogsecret

2010-01-21T16:34:00.000+07:00

14362.) ince you hurt me so, knife straight into contact with my back, I honestly would love to see you fall.
The day your life goes to hell, is the day I smile widely, chuckle, and roll on the floor in complete and utter happiness. I want to see you hurt, not neccesarily in the same way as me, but I want to see you reach out for happiness only to recieve disappointment. In my eyes, this is all that you deserve.

source: http://blogsecret.tumblr.com